


Cry

by ceaselesslyinlove



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Abortion, Angst, F/M, Lots of Crying, Unplanned Pregnancy, angsty headcanon, laurel/bonnie friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceaselesslyinlove/pseuds/ceaselesslyinlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laurel finds herself pregnant after Frank disappears.  A sad headcanon for post 2x15.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story deals with abortion, so please do not read if that is upsetting to you in any way.   
> I apologize for any inconsistencies in this story, as I have never been pregnant nor had an abortion. I also apologize for writing sad flaurel, I promise to write only happy flaurel for awhile after this <3

Laurel stares down at the stick, helplessly shaking her head, numb to any sort of explanation.  She has always been so gifted in acting logically, shutting off her emotions and performing what was needed to be done.  She’s always had a plan, and if not a plan some type of immediate reaction.  But now, for the first time in her life, as she stares down at that one solid line, she’s never felt so lost in her life.

Her eyes flick back and forth between the line and the sign for “pregnant”, hoping each time that she’s reading it wrong, that there’s been a mistake...she can’t possibly be...

It takes a solid minute or so for her to regain control of herself and with a calmness that has always startled those around her, she throws the pregnancy test away and goes to lie on her bed.

She doesn’t think of the choice she has to make yet.  Instead, she simply puts her hands over her womb and imagines what’s inside of her.  The baby isn’t even a fetus yet, just a bundle of cells all jumping together to begin creation.  She thinks of the first time she learned about the creation of life back in middle school, how fascinated she was that a sperm and an egg just had to combine to begin the formation of a complete baby.  Her hands softly massage her lower stomach, but she keeps her eyes focused on the ceiling, keeping some part of herself distant...logical.

There is no time in her life right now for a baby.  Her studies, the murders, Annalise...her own sanity.  She’s ended things with Frank and Frank is now gone to who knows where, without a single trace to where he went.  Her hand clenches at the thought of all her unanswered phone calls to him, calls he’s probably not even receiving.  She’s too messed up now to even raise a child properly, give that baby everything it deserves, love that baby the right way.  No...it’d be cruel to bring a child into her world.

But...

Their baby would be beautiful.  Sure, she’s messed up and can’t love easily...but she could love her own child.  The baby would be the perfect mix of her and Frank, and yes while Frank would not be there to see it, Frank would always be there, a part of her life again through this baby.  The others at the office would help her.  She smiles picturing the boys and Michaela cooing over the baby, Annalise and Bonnie even cracking a smile under its soft innocent gaze.  She would never love anything as much as she loves that baby.

A few minutes later, she picks up her phone, scrolls down to Frank’s name, and dials up.  Of course, it reaches his voicemail.

“Frank...” She’s shocked to find that tears are threatening to spill and her voice is staggered.

“Frank...something’s happened...” She gasps at that, a sob threatening to come out and she ends the call.

It only takes a few seconds more for her to make a decision.  Turning into her bed, she grasps onto her pillow and sobs herself to sleep.

**

A week later, she sits in the doctor’s office with Bonnie, barely listening as the doctor hands her the pills and explains the procedure.

The morning after she found out, she made the decision to go to Bonnie, who had listened and cared surprisingly better than Laurel anticipated.  Laurel knew Bonnie would most likely be the one to still be in contact with Frank and even if she wasn’t, Bonnie would know where to look.  After a long talk, Bonnie had been the one to call and make the appointment.

After they leave and get into the car, having said barely anything since thanking the doctor, Laurel turns to Bonnie.

“Am I a terrible person?”

Bonnie returns the gaze, giving Laurel that intensive look that always intrigued her.

“We’re all terrible people, Laurel...but this?  This does not make you evil.”

And without another word, she starts the car.

**

The entire night, Laurel vomits and bleeds.  She desperately tries not to think of her baby’s cells slowly being torn apart and bleeding away down the toilet.  Bonnie stays up with her, holding her hair back and keeping her hydrated.  Despite all of Bonnie’s kindness to her, she can’t help but wish Frank was the one caring for her now.  Never has she wanted Frank so much in her life.

Bonnie makes up a story of a very drunk Laurel for Annalise in the morning, but the pain is already decreasing and it’s mid morning by the time it ends.  Without even calling the doctor, Laurel knows it’s over and their baby is gone.

The check-up at the doctor later confirms her knowledge and in the car ride home, Laurel can only stare blankly out the window, feeling empty and tired.

“The pain will eventually go away,” Bonnie comments, looking over at her sympathetically.

“I’m not in pain.”

“The other pain...the pain you’re feeling now,” she adds and Laurel suddenly thinks there’s a lot about Bonnie she doesn’t know.

The car soon stops and Laurel looks out to realize they’re not at her home, but at Frank’s apartment complex.  She turns to Bonnie in confusion, her heart already leaping in the unknown.

“I have a bag of your stuff in the back.  Take that and spend the night at Frank’s.  When you hear a knock, open the door.”

Laurel tries to still the beating of her heart at Bonnie’s soft smile.  She reaches in the back for the bag, something she failed to notice in her misery.

“Thank you, Bonnie. For everything,” Laurel manages to say.  “And if you wouldn’t tell anyone...”

“This will stay between you, me, and Frank unless you change your mind,” Bonnie agrees.

Laurel can’t imagine telling anyone else about this.

**

It’s exactly 12:03 AM when the knock comes.  She knows this because her sight has been trained on the door and the clock ever since she came into his apartment and sat on his sofa.  Hardly anything can keep her distracted.

The knock arrives and with an unsteady balance, Laurel goes to the door and barely looks through the peephole, only needing a second to see who it is and fling the door open.

It hasn’t been that long since she’s seen him, but she can’t help but gasp at the sight of him.  His coat is open, as if he was in a rush, revealing one of his causal tees underneath.  His beard is thicker, his eyes tired...Laurel sees how little he cares for himself anymore.  He doesn’t carry anything with him, indicating his incredibly short stay, yet Laurel finds that this is enough. Having him here is enough.

She catalogs all this in just a second before she’s in his arms, grabbing a hold of him so tightly she hears his grunt, stuffs her face into his chest, and finally allows herself to sob.

He grasps her back and she allows him to walk her backwards into the apartment so he can close the door, before gathering her to him in an embrace so loving it only makes her sob harder.

“I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry...” she hears him whisper over and over again as he strokes her hair, his breathing slowly becoming louder to the point where she realizes that Frank is crying too.

They stand their for god knows how long, crying until Laurel can finally look up at him.  His cheeks are tear-stained and his eyes a little red.  Once he sees Laurel looking up at him, he attempts to gather himself and places his hands on her cheeks, wiping the tears away, as if he can’t bear to see her in such agony.

She’s never loved him more than this moment.

“I should have been here, Laurel.  When Bonnie found me and told me everything...shit, Laurel, I should have been here.”

“No,” her voice is stern and now it’s her turn to reach up and wipe his tears away, his eyes closing at the feel of her hands on him.

“You had to leave because of Annalise.  You aren’t safe here anymore.  I’m the one who should have tried harder to reach you...I’m the one...”

Frank shakes his head, placing his thumb against her lips.  “You made the right choice, Laurel.  Don’t feel sorry on my account.”

She nods, too tired to fight.  He taps his thumb against her lips gently, looking down at her for permission.  Reaching up, she kisses him, a gentle healing kiss...a first for them.

“How long can you stay?” She whispers after a few more of those soft kisses.

“Until 5...someone will come for me then.  What can I do, Laurel?”

“Just hold me until you have to go.  Will that be enough?”

He answers with a kiss to her head.  He leads her to the bed where he holds her the rest of the night.  She can’t help but notice the way his eyes linger towards her stomach every so often as they talk...and she wonders if she can allow herself to be even be a little hopeful for their future at all.


End file.
